Agnostic Bible, Chapter One.

For various reasons that I won't even begin to go into, a character in a book I am writing needed to read from an Agnostic Bible. Unfortunately, it seems that there is no Agnostic Bible. I know this because I checked on Amazon.

Luckily I remembered the words of Robert Anton Wilson, who said that every man should write their own Bible. So, here is Chapter One. Don't worry, it is only short:

Chapter One:

^1. In the beginning was the Word.

^2. No-one knows what this Word was, or what language it was in, or whether it was said sarcastically or not. This is because the beginning was such a long time ago, and no-one who is around now was around then.

^3. There are also no recordings of the Word available, which is a shame, as it would have made a good ring-tone.

^4. Over the years, many people have claimed that they knew what the Word was. Some say that the Word was ‘God’. Others, that it was ‘funky’, or ‘artichoke’, or ‘jiggle’.

^5. The agnostic says, “This does not concern me. This Word, if ever there was one, was not intended for my ears.”

^6. “I know this because I was not around at the beginning, and no-one would think to look for me there.”

^7. “If anyone needs to speak to me I am quite contactable.”

Everyone should attempt to write a Bible at some point, I think.

If you are lucky I will post up chapter two at some point.