Sometimes you are told, when you are singing, that the time is not right for that: "Stop singing. This is serious time."
I used to listen and obey. I was miserable yet productive. I had money, far more than I needed, and spent it all because I had no purpose.
It took time, hardships, and the freedom of abject failure leaving me with nothing but a set of clothing and some things in a relative's storage unit, wondering where I will be sleeping tonight; I had to sing again. What else was there. So I sang, and appreciated the current note of the song accompanying me.
I was rewarded with happiness, though poor and alone. Soon, because I wasn't listening, especially in this seemingly serious and dark time, to orders to stop singing and be serious right now, I was able to retrieve the friendships that mattered to me. I was able to acquire the things that I wanted, which in cases coincided with that which I perhaps, needed.
I sing now, constantly. I sing, both in this shared metaphorical sense and quite in the literal one. The music has always been there and I've realized that we have an entire lifetime to listen. The end note will come eventually, and for the sake of not missing everything up until that point, stop looking forward to it as if the last note is going to be the only thing that made the rest of the symphony worth the time.
Love it! Thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you are told, when you are singing, that the time is not right for that: "Stop singing. This is serious time."
ReplyDeleteI used to listen and obey. I was miserable yet productive. I had money, far more than I needed, and spent it all because I had no purpose.
It took time, hardships, and the freedom of abject failure leaving me with nothing but a set of clothing and some things in a relative's storage unit, wondering where I will be sleeping tonight; I had to sing again. What else was there. So I sang, and appreciated the current note of the song accompanying me.
I was rewarded with happiness, though poor and alone. Soon, because I wasn't listening, especially in this seemingly serious and dark time, to orders to stop singing and be serious right now, I was able to retrieve the friendships that mattered to me. I was able to acquire the things that I wanted, which in cases coincided with that which I perhaps, needed.
I sing now, constantly. I sing, both in this shared metaphorical sense and quite in the literal one. The music has always been there and I've realized that we have an entire lifetime to listen. The end note will come eventually, and for the sake of not missing everything up until that point, stop looking forward to it as if the last note is going to be the only thing that made the rest of the symphony worth the time.
Now is so much more interesting.